


No, We Do Not Get Course Credit For This

by arjache



Category: Homestuck, Power Rangers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Humanstuck, Nonbinary Character, Trans, Trans Female Character, Transstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjache/pseuds/arjache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you swear, if the Student Housing Accommodations staff member assigned to show you to your new dorm room misgenders you or grabs your arm without asking one more time, you are going to beat him with your cane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My special thanks to Alyson for giving me the prompt for this fic on a night when I couldn't sleep and desperately needed to write something.

Your name is Terezi Pyrope, and you swear, if the Student Housing Accommodations staff member assigned to show you to your new dorm room misgenders you or grabs your arm without asking one more time, you are going to beat him with your cane. 

“This is it,” he says. The keys to the unit jingle quietly as he slides them out of their envelope, but well before he can make use of them, the door is yanked open. 

“Oh,” he says. “Um, Terezi, this is your roommate, Miss, uh…” there’s a pause as he shuffles through paperwork. 

A softer voice interrupts him. “Miss Rose Lalonde. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Rose says. You think you can hear a faint hint of testosterone damage in that voice, layered under a lot of vocal training, but it’s very subtle even to your ears. Mostly you’re just picking up on the same sort of techniques that you’ve been trying to employ yourself, recently, to much less success. Rose continues, very coolly, “I wasn’t informed I would have a roommate.” 

“University policy,” the staff member says, and you resist the urge to recite the relevant passage. You’ve come to learn, over time, that not everyone appreciates your photographic memory when it comes to legal material and its ilk. 

“Fine. If you’ll excuse me,” she says, and then ducks briefly back inside the room, emerges again after only a few seconds, and walks briskly down the hall, her jacket fabric whistling slightly as she pulls it on as she walks by you. 

You’re guessing this was not a planned excursion. 

“If you give me the keys I can handle it from here,” you say quietly. “Thank you.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” 

“Right, well. If you need anything just let us know,” he says, and then walks off. Also briskly. A lot of people walking briskly away from you today. Terezi Pyrope, the walking awkward situation. You’re trying not to take it too personally, but it’s hard not to. 

You let yourself into the room and find your way to what you assume is your bed, given that the mattress is bare. You set down your things and just sort of ease yourself back onto it, rocking back and forth a little. It’s not such a bad bed, at least. You really want to be hugging one of your plush scalemates right now, but that involves digging through your backpack and your arms are tired. 

You’ve been sitting down for what feels like less than a minute when there’s a knock on the door. You sigh and stand up and make your way back over to the door, opening it partway. 

“Hello?” you ask. 

“Hi! I’m Jade, your next-door neighbor,” a very bubbly voice says, with a difficult-to-place accent. “I wanted to welcome you to the dorms.” 

“Oh, hi,” you say. “Terezi. Nice to meet you.” You pause for a moment of awkward silence, and then, “Look, I’m too tired to stand right now. Why don’t you come in and I can collapse and then we can get into the more detailed introductions?” 

“Sounds like a plan!” they say, and you let them in, leaving the door slightly ajar. “Um, go ahead and take the desk chair,” you say, flopping back down on your bed. The mattress is probably filthy but you need at least five minutes for the feeling to come back into your arms before you can set about finding your sheets. 

“So, Jade,” you say, “Perhaps you could start by telling me why my roommate apparently hates me.” 

“Oh, Rose?” Jade asks. 

“Yes, Rose of the grumpiness.” 

“I think she just hates everyone right now. She’s been furious since she showed up yesterday. It’s nothing personal.” 

“Ah,” you say. “Well, I can see this is going to be a fun year already.” 

You wait for Jade to make some sort of horrible joke about your use of the verb ‘to see’, but they don’t, which is when you decide you like this new neighbor of yours. 


	2. Chapter 2

You wake up and the noise just slams into you. 

Classes don’t start for another few days, and you don’t have any reason to be out of bed just yet, so you just roll over and try to burrow into the pile of pillows and blankets and scalemates in the hopes of blocking out some of the noise. It doesn’t really work, though. 

Most people would probably call your surroundings “quiet”, but you are not most people. You decide you are annoyed enough to tally your audial surroundings, and thus you do so: 

Noted: Someone opening and closing their door further down the hall. 

Noted: Someone operating an illicit microwave oven (Section 7c of the Student Housing Agreement) in the next room over - not Jade’s, the one on the opposite side - while complaining about a variety of things on the phone. They slam the microwave door. Microwave doors always sound like someone’s slamming them. You are impressed that this person seems to have figured out how to make it sound intentional. 

Noted: The shuffling sounds of feet, jacket, and backpack from the person who just opened and closed their door. 

Noted: Someone’s in-suite shower running, or so you assume, to judge from the hissing of the water through the pipes, and the faint vibration of the ventilation fan. One of the perks of being in the gender-neutral dorm where they seem to have placed all the trans students: Not having to worry about the possibility of other students freaking out about your junk every time you want to use the shower. 

Noted: The scratching of your roommate’s fountain pen against her journal. 

Ah, your roommate. 

Rose Lalonde. A freshman like you. Not much else known about her. You’d unpacked your things and gone to bed by the time she showed up again the night before, so you hadn’t yet had a chance to speak with her. Jade didn’t know much more than you did. 

Half-asleep and already feeling sensory overloaded doesn’t really sound like the best setting for a proper introduction, though, so you groggily reach an arm out of your pillow pile and grab your smartphone charging on your bedside table, and the headphones sitting just next to it. You slide the headphones on, click the phone awake, and then hastily turn down the volume as the screen reader starts loudly chirping the time of day and your overnight notifications at you. You swipe past all that and switch straight to the music player and start playing something soothingly ambient-techno-esque, just enough structured sound to drown out the noise without overwhelming you further. 

You lie there for a good half hour, cradling Lemonsnout and Pyralspite to your chest and tapping your fingers against your arms in time with the music and pondering how to break the ice with your roommate. 

Eventually you switch over to the IM app.

  
GC: H3LLO MX J4D3   
GC: 1 4M CURR3NTLY TR4PP3D 1N MY B3D WH1L3 1 CONT3MPL4T3 TH3 B3ST W4Y TO N4V1G4T3 TH1S ROOMM4T3 S1TU4T1ON   
GC: HOW 4R3 YOU TH1S F1N3 MORN1NG?   
GG: zzzdszzxzzzz00000   
GC: F4SC1N4T1NG   


* * *

Eventually you hear Rose stand up and start running the shower, and after waiting a few minutes you sigh and take this opportunity to slide of out of bed and get dressed. 

You’re still debating whether you can be bothered to figure out the student cafeteria yet or if you just want to break into your personal pop-tart stash when the bathroom door clicks open and Rose walks out, wafting a cloud of lavender-scented bath product fumes behind her. 

“Good morning!” you say, determined to put on an air of cheerfulness. 

“Good morning,” she replies. She sounds distracted. 

“Let me know if you need me to move anything. I went ahead and unpacked while you were out last night, but if you wanted to divide up the room differently…” 

“This should be fine for now. Not that it matters. I don’t imagine I’ll be staying here long.” 

“Oh?” 

“My housing arrangements here seem to have been one long chain of mishaps.” 

“Oh,” you say. “But you expect that to get fixed soon?” 

“That, or to simply move on to the next mishap.” 

“Ah.” 

“It’s nothing personal, you understand.” 

“Of course not,” you say. “Then again when people say that to me it usually _is_ personal. You will have to forgive me for not always being able to tell the difference.” 

“Look, this isn’t a blind thing, I swear.” 

Rose Lalonde does not, apparently, beat around the bush. 

“Make sure that it isn’t.” 

“It’s not.” 

“ _Or_ a trans thing,” you say back, your words flat yet tense. There’s an awkward silence at that point. Well. That sure was a way to come out. Wait. Is she - is she freaking out because she thinks you mean her? 

“That’s -” one of Rose’s devices beeps at this point, interrupting her. “Shit. I’ve got to go. We shall have to continue this lovely conversation at a later point.” 

“I look forward to it,” you say, sitting back down on your bed. Your own phone buzzes. You pull it out and decide to not bother with headphones. Rose can just tolerate the sound of crickets for however long she takes to put her shoes on.

  
GG: breakfast?   
GC: OH GOODN3SS Y3S   



	3. Chapter 3

“Oh fuck, it’s a touchscreen, isn’t it?” 

“What is?”, Jade asks. 

“The payment card setup kiosk,” you say. 

“Oh, um,” Jade says. They step out of line for a second, then come back. “Yeah, I think it is.” 

“Great. Care to place bets on whether or not it’ll be accessible?” 

Jade doesn’t say. You move forward in line. You are trying not to get too frustrated just yet, but right now, this kiosk is standing in between you and breakfast. 

Eventually you reach the kiosk. Jade goes first, then stands and waits next to you while you quickly examine the machine. No physical buttons, no braille labels, no headphone jack. Hmm. 

“Jade, does the touchscreen have any icons that look like a person? Maybe with a wheelchair? Possibly near one of the screen corners?” 

“Nope.” 

“Great.” 

“I could do it for you…” Jade begins. 

“I appreciate the thought, and I may yet take you up on that, but first I want to make sure the school understands the issue.” You pause for a moment. “Listen, if you want to go get breakfast, I’ll understand.” 

“Nope! I’m good. Want me to flag someone down?” 

“Yes please. That is something I will gladly accept your help with at this time.” 

Jade calls some cafeteria worker over and you start explaining the issue. You have to repeat yourself. A lot. 

“Look, can’t you just help him with it?”, they eventually say to Jade. 

You wince, and then, setting aside for a moment the sting of being misgendered, say, “And if they’re not here the next time I need to change something on the card? No, I need a real solution that allows me to do this myself.” 

“Uh. There’s a web page somewhere that lets you do that, I think.” 

“That should work. Thanks.” you say, quietly wondering if said web page even exists, but feeling as if you might run out of words if the conversation went on any further. 

After the cafeteria person walks off Jade says, quietly to you, “Thanks for remembering my pronouns. Sorry you got misgendered.” 

“Eh,” you say. 

“Would you like me to help you with the kiosk now?” they ask. 

“That would be lovely,” you say. “Thank you.” 

* * *

To celebrate your small victory, you cover an entire plate of hashbrowns in ketchup. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” Jade asks. 

“Years of practice. I’ve been putting ketchup on stuff since my toddler years. Of course, these days I tend to limit myself to only putting it on food…” you say, with a sly grin. 

“No, I mean. Like. The way you stood up for yourself back there. That was incredible! I’m not sure I could have done that.” 

“Jade. You’re telling me, that as a trans person - a nonbinary transfeminine person - you’ve never had to stand up for yourself?” 

“Um, well, point.” 

“Anyway, I did it because it needed doing, I guess. I’d much rather I didn’t have to,” you say, turning your attention back to your hashbrowns. “The onus shouldn’t be on the folks needing accommodation! We shouldn’t all have to be fierce dragons.” 

Jade giggles at that. You pause. 

“Oh, right, so about the dragon thing,” you say. 

“I was wondering!” Jade says. “Especially because it seems to fit you so well. Anyway. Go on.” 

“Right. Um. So my mom was kind of absent for a lot of my childhood - being a corporate attorney will do that, I guess - but to the extent she was there, she was fiercely protective of me. She called herself my fierce dragon mom. Or maybe I was the one who first came up with that. But it was sort of our thing,” you say. 

“Anyway,” you continue. “I really appreciated it at first, but I started to push back against it after a while. Having a mom who is away on business most of the time and then occasionally darts in, dragonlike, to be overprotective of you is not actually very useful!” 

“So I pushed back. I told her ‘Mama, I wanna be a fierce dragon like you!’ And she got that. And from then on I was her little dragon-in-training,” you say. 

“That’s adorable!” Jade says. 

“Yeah,” you say, smiling shyly. “So that’s sort of our in-joke, even now. Like…well, okay. I came out as trans last year. I had no idea how she would react, but I came out anyway, because it was either that or attend university while pretending to be a guy. And I couldn’t do that. High school was bad enough, and I spent most of it in denial! So I came out to her. And she got all quiet. And then she hugged me and said ‘I knew it.’” 

“What?!?” Jade exclaims. “Really?” 

“Well, I don’t know if she actually knew or not. But I was just as incredulous as you. When the reality of your own gender eludes you for so long - and when you’ve spent such a long time policing your expression of it - it’s difficult to acknowledge that it may have been more obvious to others than it was to yourself. So I asked her how she knew. And you know what she told me?” 

“What?” 

“‘Because,’ she said, ‘all the fiercest dragons are girls.’”


	4. Chapter 4

Your name is Callie Ohpeee and your brain is doing its very best right now to convince you that you are a horrifying monster.

You’re not, or at least you keep telling yourself you’re not. But it is very loud and persistent today because you are anxious and this is your first day at university and you only started transitioning this summer - hell, you only started hormones two weeks ago - and you are so not ready for this, for any of it, really.

Also you’re a little lost and you think the people at Student Housing Accommodations forgot to include your key in your orientation packet. You tried to point this out to them but they were too busy explaining everything else to notice. This seemed to be an ongoing pattern in your attempts to communicate with the university staff.

_Monster, monster, monster_ chants your inner anxiety track. On the one hand you’re fairly certain your anxiety is wrong; on the other hand your anxiety is busily citing virtually every television programme and movie you have ever seen as proof of its assessment of you.

At this point you believe you’ve located the correct hall of residence, but you’re not entirely certain; you linger outside for a bit before finally darting in. You’re relieved to see a lift just off to the side of the front lobby; your leg was starting to complain very loudly about how much wandering around today has already involved, and you weren’t entirely confident in the university’s ADA compliance.

You step into the lift and just as the door’s closing a girl jams it open with her arm, in a motion so cavalier and resolute you’d swear her arm were made of metal instead of the flesh and blood it actually was. She steps in, takes one look at the button panel, then another at you, and rolls her eyes - or rather, eye, as she’s wearing a tattered black eyepatch with a skull and crossbones over the other, like a primary schooler with a lazy eye who fancies themselves a pirate. She does not press a button. You presume she is going to the same floor you are.

“Hello,” you say, quietly.

She does not respond.

You grip your cane more tightly - an old nervous habit - and try not to stare at her outfit.

You are not entirely certain what to make of it, other than that it makes you feel overdressed in your smart green blazer. She is wearing a ragged denim jacket and more eye makeup than you’ve seen since you last rewatched _The Breakfast Club_. Spider leggings. And what appear to be multiple skirts. You’re not certain how many. No more than eight.

You really hope this girl is not your new roommate.

The lift doors open with a gentle ping and you both step out. To your relief she proceeds to a door further down the corridor from your own. The quiet sound of a sewing machine gives way to noisier argument after she closes the door.

Meanwhile, you are standing at your supposed door with no key in hand, and no clue who to contact to correct the situation, save making your way slowly back to the housing office. In a great deal of pain, because the leg which was previously complaining to you about your long day has moved on to filing official grievances.

You knock, on the assumption that you may have a roommate, that said roommate might already be settled in, that they might let you in. That this hasn’t all been in vain.

No response.

You stand there awkwardly for a few minutes, deliberating, until someone else comes along. “Pardon me,” you start, and then trail off, feeling incredibly self-conscious about your voice.

“What’s up?”, the other person responds, and your self-consciousness evaporates and is replaced with a quiet thrill, because _her voice sounds a bit like yours_ , albeit with an American accent of course; it is entirely possible you are talking to another trans girl, or at least someone you don’t have to feel quite so awkward about your voice around.

“Oh, um…” you begin. “I think I’m a little lost; I’m supposed to be in unit 413 but they didn’t give me a key. They were supposed to but they didn’t. And I knocked but whoever my roommate is doesn’t seem to be in, and I think the housing office has closed already for the day, and -” you babble, the words coming out faster and faster from all the pent-up frustration and anxiety, and bloody _hell_ , now you can feel tears burning at the corners of your eyes, and you begin to wonder if that’s just going to be a _thing_ now, crying at the drop of a hat, because you seem to be doing it a lot lately, ever since starting hormones, and you think it’s probably supposed to get better over time but right now it’s hard not to imagine it just staying this way forever, and you’re catastrophising, and - oh. The other girl is still standing there, quietly staring at you.

No, wait. Not staring at you. She’s got a cane, but it’s a sleek little thing, not meant for support like yours. And she’s wearing gorgeous red glasses. It occurs to you that she might be blind. And thus not staring at you per se. In fact, it kind of looks like she’s listening intently.

For the first time today someone is actually listening to you.

You trail off, and then say. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m Callie.”

The other girl smiles back at you. “Hi Callie! I’m Terezi, and I’m in the room next to yours. You must be Jade’s new roommate. Why don’t we go hang out in my room until they get back?”

“Perfect,” you say, and mean it.


	5. Chapter 5

Terezi is absolutely charming and you are so glad to find yourself spending the afternoon with her instead of the scary spider girl.

“I really like your cane,” you say. Terezi’s cane appears to have started life as a standard white cane, but it now has red stripes and an elaborate dragon head. It looks suitably intimidating.

“Thank you! Did I hear you using a cane of your own on your way in here?”

“You did!”

“What’s it like?”

“Oh, well,” you say. The question has caught you off guard; if anything you’re used to feeling self-conscious about the cane, assuming it’s the most visible thing about you. “It’s green; wooden. There’s a sort of caduceus carved into the top - intertwined snakes, the medical symbol, you know?”

“Ooh, fancy!” she says.

“Very. It’s a sort of family heirloom. A lot of doctors in my extended family, actually - my uncle gave it to me when he heard I was going for the pre-med track as well.”

“So you haven’t always used it.”

“I haven’t always used this cane in particular, but I’ve used something of the sort for quite a long time now, because of an injury I sustained when I was little. Actually, it happened so long ago I don’t really remember it!”

“I know what you mean. I’m kind of the same way.”

“Oh?” you ask, hoping you’re not prying.

“Well, when I was little, there was an accident with this neighbour kid about my age. I don’t remember much about him, or the accident. My mom says we were rough-housing. Anyway, the neighbour kid lost an eye. And I…yeah.”

“Oh, how dreadful.”

“Eh. It is what it is. Like I said, I barely remember. And we moved shortly after that. No reminders. No idea what happened to the neighbour kid after that, either.”

“Right,” you say. The two of you drift off into silence for an awkward moment. “So, what can you tell me about my new roommate, if you don’t mind me asking? Have you met her yet?”

“ _Them_ , actually.”

“You mean I have more than one? Is it some sort of suite?”

“No, I mean they use singular they! And their name is Jade and they are really nice. You definitely win the Nicest Floor Roommate award.”

“Oh, sorry!” you say, feeling suddenly self-conscious about the inadvertent mispronouning, and then pause. “Wait. So my roommate is also trans? Just how many of us did they place here?”

You realise, of course, that by saying this that you have implicitly also outed yourself as trans, but at this point in your transition you generally assume that is common knowledge.

“Uh, well, I mean, I am too, so that’s at least three of us. I dunno about the couple of students in the neighbouring room, but honestly at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d just put us all in the same hallway to make things easier.”

“Easier for us, you mean? Or easier for them?”

“Now you begin to understand the mindset of the university bureaucracy. But honestly, I like it. I get the feeling my roommate doesn’t, but…”

Just then, someone slams the door open and yells, “Something’s happening outside! Come quick!”

“Jade, what -” Terezi starts to say.

“Aliens are invading!” they reply, and then vanish just as quickly as they appeared.


	6. Chapter 6

You don’t quite run outside but you definitely move faster than your leg will appreciate later. Terezi is right by your side, and working together, you get there faster than either of you could probably have managed alone - you end up leaning on her for support, and while she steadies you, you guide her out of the building.

There are, indeed, dozens of bizarre-looking creatures swarming in the car park just outside. They look rather like Christmas elves, but you’re not sure you’ve ever seen elves with such sharp teeth and claws. Some are fighting, some are dancing menacingly, and they are all making strange whooping noises.

You desperately scan the scene, trying to make sense of what you’re seeing. Most of the creatures are clustered around the spider girl and another, extremely well-dressed, student. A second group is off to one side exchanging blows with Jade.

“What the hell’s going on?” the spider girl yells.

“I don’t know but for a second year in a row I find myself regretting not being allowed to bring my chainsaw to school with me,” replies the fashionable student.

“Yeah, well, otherwise you would have killed me by now, and what would you do then?”

“Enjoy the quiet, I assume.”

Just then the creatures notice you. Some of them break off from the main group and start advancing on you and Terezi.

“I don’t suppose you have any experience fighting,” you say dryly.

“RARR!” she yells, and wields her dragon cane.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” you reply, and then there is no more time for banter because you are surrounded by neon green Christmas elves.

It is at this point that you are, not for the first time, very glad to have taken up La Canne a few years ago.

You and Terezi fight the creatures back to back; as they approach you swat them away one by one with your cane, bracing yourself against her as you make your attacks. As you twist and turn, you occasionally catch a glimpse of Terezi out of the corner of your eye, and she seems to be taking out just as many of the creatures as you do, if not more, in her own way; her cane is lighter than yours, more top-heavy, and she makes good use of the heavy dragon-headed tip, slamming it against the elves with gleeful abandon.

Still, the creatures are closing in faster than you can take them out. You look up from the fight just long enough to see Jade take out the rest of their group with a spinning kick. You get an idea.

“Terezi!”

“What?”

“Sweep the leg!”

You lock free hands with Terezi and balance on your good leg; moving almost as one, the two of you twirl around each other, sweeping the ground with your canes and wiping out the entire circle of creatures in one move.

You look around. All of the creatures are on the ground now. You didn’t see the two unnamed students take out their group but they are both looking very pleased with themselves in their own ways. The spider girl’s way apparently involves a lot of boastful yelling.

“Okay, what on Earth was -” you begin, and just then all of the creatures vanish in a brilliant burst of glittering polygons.

Terezi sniffs. “Did we w-” she begins, and then doesn’t get to complete her sentence either because all of a sudden _everything_ vanishes in a flash of teleporter light.


	7. Chapter 7

As the blinding light of the teleporter fades, all five of you find yourselves in a vast, dark space. Fog blankets the ground, lit up by constellations of distant spotlights. You’re standing on some sort of center platform; around you are various computer consoles, and off to one side is a large, slightly translucent white globe, through which you can see what appears to be the car park you were just in.

A girl your age approaches from out of the darkness, wearing some sort of purple battle suit, a strange mix of armour and spandex. She is carrying a matching helmet, complete with visor, under her arm.

“That was most impressive. An unplanned audition, to be sure, but you all acquitted yourselves admirably.”

“…Rose?” Terezi asks.

“You know her?” the spider girl asks.

“I suppose some introductions are in order. Let me begin by saying -”

“Where are we?” the spider girl interrupts again.

Rose sighs. “Skaianet labs. Our headquarters.”

“Headquarters for what?”

Rose hesitates, and then turns to the computer. “You’re sure these are the right ones to recruit?”

“My results are accurate t0 within 612 decimal p0ints.”

Rose turns back to the group. “This is where we coordinate our defensive efforts against various hostile alien invasion forces.”

There is a collective silence from the crowd as everyone attempts to parse this.

“You’ve all been chosen to become Power Rangers.”


	8. Chapter 8

Your name is Jade Harley and you have SO MANY QUESTIONS about everything right now.

Though, to be fair, everyone has questions right now and in fact seem to be all shouting over one another.

But you have questions about SCIENCE and ENGINEERING.

“What do you mean, Power Rangers? Like, the ones who were on the news last year?” your dorm neighbor with the eyepatch is saying. Vriska, you think? You haven’t been properly introduced but you remember her name being shouted loudly at one point by her roommate Kanaya. Whose name, similarly, you only learned because a second later Vriska shouted back _WELL EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME, KANAYA._

It doesn’t matter anyway because there are far more important things going on right now!

“And another thing -” Vriska begins.

“HOLY COW WAS THAT A TELEPORTER BEAM?” you exclaim. “You have a WORKING TELEPORTER how does that even WORK how do you deal with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and what kind of satellites are you using to get that kind of resolution on your viewing globe thingy and and and…”

“I can answer that in great detail, Jade, al0ng with any 0ther questi0ns y0u may have. My data banks c0ntain extensive rec0rds 0n the c0nstructi0n and repair 0f any and all Ranger techn0l0gy, al0ng with a c0mplete hist0ry 0f the Rangers themselves.”

“You have a TALKING, FULLY INTERACTIVE COMPUTER -” you continue.

“Big deal, so does my phone,” quips Vriska.

“Her name is ARADIA,” Rose says, seemingly ignoring all the other, more pressing questions, along with Vriska in general. “It’s short for Automated Resource Acquisition Digital Intelligence Agent.”

“It’s nice to meet you, ARADIA,” you say, somewhat more quietly.

“Thank y0u. I l00k f0rward t0 w0rking with y0u and the 0ther new Rangers. H0pefully y0u will n0t be as d00med as the previ-”

“So!” Rose interrupts, clapping her hands. “Now would be an excellent time to answer some of the many questions you all had.”

“So what, it’s just you and Talkie Toaster here?” Vriska asks.

“Nannasprite’s attending a conference in the Pegasus Galaxy. Anyone else? Kanaya?”

Kanaya - oh good, apparently that was her name after all and not just an obscure insult on Vriska’s part - immediately blushes. “You know my name?” she asks Rose.

“I know all your names.”

“Oh. Well. I was wondering if you could tell us more about the suits. Both in terms of battle capabilities and stylistically.”

“Ooh, yes, me too!” Terezi chimes in. “What color suit do I get?”

Rose turns to an empty spot on the opposite side of the room from the viewing globe, pauses for just a fraction of a second, and then turns back and says, “ARADIA, would you care to do the honors?”

“Is that n0t n0rmally s0mething Nannasprite w0uld d0?”

“Yes, but she’s not here, and you do the dramatic voices better than I do. Put on a little reverb.”

“Very well, R0se.” ARADIA says, her voice booming. “Rangers. Step f0rward.”

You all look at each other confusedly. No one moves.

“We’re…on a big circular platform,” you say. “Actually it’s got kind of a spiral motif. Do we move along that, or…?”

“No, sorry, usually Nannasprite is over there, you see,” Rose says, gesturing, “and you’d step tow- you know, it doesn’t matter. Just stand at attention. I see you slouching over there, Vriska.”

“Shall I resume?”

“Yes.”

“Rangers. Each 0ne 0f y0u will be granted new p0wers t0 aid in the fight t0 defend Earth - the p0wers 0f the mightiest animals 0n the planet. In y0ur times 0f greatest need, these p0wers will manifest as giant r0b0ts called Skaiaz0rds.”

“Terezi.” ARADIA continues, and as she says her name, a hologram of Terezi’s new power suit is projected around her in shimmering red light. “Fierce. Perceptive. Y0u have been ch0sen t0 pil0t the Red Drag0n Mindz0rd. Will y0u fight with us?”

“I will!” Terezi yells, her voice almost squeaky from excitement.

“Jade.” ARADIA says, and suddenly your stomach is full of butterflies - no, hummingbirds - and they are all buzzing around and throwing up and your vision is full of white light. “Keen. L0yal. Y0u have been ch0sen t0 pil0t the White W0lf Spacez0rd. Will y0u fight w-”

“Yes!” you shout, and are so excited and self-conscious that you almost forget to listen to everyone else’s assignments as she moves on and the sparkle-shimmer of the holograms light up again next to you.

“Kanaya. Graceful. Quick. Y0u have been ch0sen t0 pil0t the Black M0th Spacez0rd. Will y0u fight with us?”

“I will,” Kanaya says, very quietly.

“Callie. P0werful. Inspiring. Y0u have been ch0sen t0 pil0t the Green Serpent Spacez0rd. Will y0u fight with us?”

“I…I will!” Callie says, her voice full of sudden determination.

“Vriska. Cunning. Unhesitating. Y0u have been ch0sen t0 pil0t the Blue Arachnid Lightz0rd. Will y0u fight with us?”

“Hell fucking yes,” Vriska says. “Is that all of us?”

“Just 0ne m0re remains. It is a traditi0n that when a new team is f0rmed, all its members are asked t0 j0in, new 0r 0ld.” She pauses for just a second, and then in lieu of a hologram, a beam of purple light shines down on Rose, who is already wearing her power suit.

“R0se. Elegant. Insightful. The Purple Puma Lightz0rd is y0urs t0 c0mmand. Will y0u fight with us?”

“I have, and I will,” Rose says.

“L00k t0 y0ur wrists.”

There is a quiet whoosh of a teleporter and suddenly you are all wearing what the tech fashion blogs would probably call ‘smartbands’, each adorned with a tiny gem matching your suit color.

“These are y0ur p0wer m0rphers, and the p0wer gems which are the s0urce 0f y0ur p0wers. When y0u are set up0n by the f0rces 0f evil, h0ld these in fr0nt 0f y0u, and call up0n the p0wer 0f y0ur z0rds.” ARADIA begins projecting holographic images of giant animal-shaped robots above you, one after the other. “Each 0f y0ur z0rds is p0werful 0n its 0wn, but just as y0u six will need t0 w0rk t0gether as a team t0 0verc0me y0ur greatest challenges, s0 t00 d0 y0ur z0rds c0mbine t0 make even m0re p0werful, capable z0rds.”

ARADIA begins projecting a new set of images, these of somewhat more human-shaped robots. “Beh0ld. The Space Megaz0rd. The Light Megaz0rd. And the Ultraz0rd.”

An alarm begins to sound throughout the base. “I’m detecting a disturbance near the 0utskirts 0f the university,” ARADIA says, in her normal voice.

“Is it another one of those new patrols?” Rose asks, turning to the viewing globe.

“I’m n0t sure what it is.”

“We’d better go investigate.” Rose slides her right hand along her left arm towards the wrist where her power morpher would be, and suddenly transforms back into her everyday clothes in a flash of purple light. “This close to campus, it’s best to go in our civvies. I don’t want to attraction any more attention than we have to, especially if it means innocent bystanders getting involved. ARADIA, can you teleport us there without anyone noticing?”

“Yes. I have already l0cated a suitable sp0t. G00d luck. And may the p0wer pr0tect y0u.”


	9. Chapter 9

You arrive in a secluded alley in a flash of rainbow light, punctuated by the sound of Terezi sneezing.

“The teleporter beam makes my nose itch,” she says quietly.

Rose is already peering around the corner. “This way.”

Before you’ve even made your way out of the alley, Vriska abruptly shouts “Hey!” and runs ahead of the group.

“Damnit, Vriska,” Rose mutters, and runs after her.

Ahead of you, Vriska yells, “Hey, pumpkin jerk! Let him go!”

_Pumpkin? What pumpkin?_ you think.

You catch up with them a few seconds later. There is a giant pumpkin monster looming menacingly over a terrified-looking freshman in tattered green shorts.

_Oh. That pumpkin._

The pumpkin is momentarily distracted by your arrival. The freshman runs off in the commotion, limping slightly but otherwise seemingly none the worse for wear.

“And just what are you doing back here, Pumpkin Rapper?” Rose yells. Being a Power Ranger apparently involves a lot of yelling. “Slinking back in disgrace now that your master’s been defeated?”

“I’ve got a new master now and he’s here to stay! He’s got big plans for you and new games to play!”

“Have you seen my courseload? I don’t have time for games. But I do have time to defeat you!”

“You can’t defeat me! You can’t even rhyme! I’ve been powered up by the Lord of Time!”

“Shall I remix your own temporal rhyme? Listen up everyone; it’s morphin’ time!” Rose yells, and holds her morpher out in front of her, her arms moving in a complex motion.

“Purple Puma!”

“Blue Arachnid!”

“White Wolf!”

“Black Moth!”

“Green Serpent!”

“Red Dragon!”

As you shout out, summoning your powers, an eerie glowing light builds around you - different from the holograms before, more intense. Your skin tingles from tiny puffs of displaced air as parts of your power suit transportalize around you. For a moment you can’t see anything but an intense white light as the final piece, your helmet, materializes, and then as your sight comes back there is a brief flicker of text overlaying your field of view as the suits’ various systems boot up.

“Oh cool! It runs Linux!” you exclaim, quickly scanning the boot messages as they scroll by.

“You’re going down, Pumpkin Rapper!” Vriska shouts, waving her arms in a vaguely threatening manner.

“You’re outnumbered six to one!” Terezi chimes in, wielding what looks like an upgraded version of her dragon cane in front of her like a sword. “Surrender now and prepare to be judged!”

“I think you’ll find it’s numbers you lack!” shouts Pumpkin Rapper, and suddenly a dozen of the same monsters you fought before appear between you and him, this time sporting a new and distinct gourd motif. “Pumpkin imps - assemble and attack!”

And then, once again, you are all embroiled in melee combat. But this time, you are powered up and fighting as a team.

“Does anyone else have sonar? Because this is almost obscenely detailed,” Terezi says, and then baps an imp sneaking up behind her with the head of her cane, not even bothering to turn around. She spins the cane like a flail and hits two more imps flanking her. “Full 360 coverage!”

“I’m not sure, but this suit is amazing to move in!” says Callie, snapping the foot of her own cane into one imp and sending it tumbling into another. “It feels like I’m hardly putting any weight on my legs at all!”

“I think they must act as powered exoskeletons!” you shout, and hold out your hands in front of you like a steppingstone. “Here - try a kickflip!”

Callie runs up and jumps up on your hands. You give her a boost as she does some sort of acrobatic fucking pirouette off of you and into a group of imps. “Hiyaaaa!” she shouts, kicking her way through them.

Little indicators blink off to the side of your field of vision as more and more of your suit’s systems come online and adapt themselves to their new wearer. “Wait, is that…” you say, noticing one indicator in particular, and then jump up and click your heels together. Tiny little jets activate on your boots and propel you forward. You hold out your fists just in time to slam into an imp. “THIS IS SO COOL!” you yell.

“Yeah!!!!!!!!” Vriska yells, twirling around you as she flings dice left and right. Each one strikes an imp and explodes. “Auto-targeting!”

Meanwhile, Kanaya is literally moving so quickly that she is just a blur weaving in and out of the crowd, reappearing briefly now and then to run a remarkably elegant looking chainsword through an imp and then vanishing again. “I do believe it’s pumpkin carving season,” she says as she whizzes past.

Meanwhile, Rose has made it over to Pumpkin Rapper; from a distance you see the two of them locked in epic hand to hand combat. Hand to…vine? Something.

“Imps, now’s the time for us to rally!” Pumpkin Rapper shouts.

“I think you mean our big finale!” Rose says, pummeling him with her fists. “Now, Kanaya!”

Rose jump kicks Pumpkin Rapper. At the precise moment her foot strikes the monster’s chest, Kanaya is all the way on the other side of the impromptu battlefield. But by the time Pumpkin Rapper is knocked back by the force of the impact, Kanaya is there, ready to deal the final blow with her chainsword.

As Pumpkin Rapper falls, the two Rangers turn their back on him and walk dramatically away in slow motion, while all around them, the remaining imps explode in a shower of Vriska’s dice.

It looks really impressive right up until the point where the explosions get a little too close and knock Kanaya off her feet.

Before Kanaya even makes it to the ground, Rose has her arms around her. The two share what you can only assume is a long, meaningful look, though it’s difficult to say for certain, because they’re both still wearing their helmets.

“Rose, I…” Kanaya begins to say, and then is interrupted by a distant rumbling noise.

Somewhere far off, an impossibly loud voice shouts, “COSMIC CUE! MAKE MY MONSTER GROW!”

The ground begins to shake. You look up to find Pumpkin Rapper towering above you.

“Oh no,” Rose says. “We made one critical mistake.”

“What’s that?” asks Terezi.

“We turned our back on the body.”


	10. Chapter 10

Far above you, Pumpkin Rapper waves his many vines. The ground shakes with every step he takes. Vriska’s throwing arm twitches as she sizes up the situation.

“What do we do?” you ask.

“The only thing we can do,” Rose says. “We need Skaiazord power, now!”

Your zords come running and/or flying in from somewhere - you’re not sure where exactly, but you’re pretty sure you see a volcano erupting off in the distance, which is a little weird because you’re nowhere near any active volcanoes. As Rose’s zord roars by, she jumps impossibly high, spinning in midair several times, before landing on the top and sliding down a hatch.

You trade looks with Callie, shrug, and then take a running leap yourself, trusting that your suit will know what to do even if you don’t.

Somehow, it does.

The in-helmet comms activate.

  
TT: Log on.   
GG: jade here! all systems go :)   
GC: T3R3Z1 R3PORT1NG 1N! 3V3RYTH1NG 1S D3L1C1OUS JOLLY R4NCH3R GR33N ON MY 3ND >:]   
UU: literally green over here! this is callie by the way.   
GA: Rose This Is Kanaya My Hydraulic Indicator Is A Little Low   
GA: Im Trying To Repressurize Now   


There is a small explosion off to your side.

  
GA: No Wait That Was The Missile Launcher   
AG: This is Vriska, and I demand to know what 8utton launches missiles.   
GG: according to my console theres some sort of psychic link between us and the zord computers   
GG: just do what comes naturally!!   
TT: Jade, don’t give her any ideas.   
TT: All right. On my mark, formation alpha. Our goal is to lead Pumpkin Rapper away from the campus and limit the amount of collateral damage.   
TT: Got that?   


Before anyone can respond, Rose zooms past the rest of the group, towards the warehouse district past the university campus.

  
TT: Mark.   


“Aaaaaa,” you yell, pushing buttons frantically. The five of you manage to follow Rose’s zord with only a little bit of property damage left in your wake.

Well, some, anyway.

It was just a few cars.

The route Rose has chosen leads you past Pumpkin Rapper at just enough of a distance that his vines can’t reach you. He starts to follow after you.

  
TT: Good.   
TT: Now we just need to - Vriska, wait!   


Vriska strays a little too close to Pumpkin Rapper, who suddenly wraps his vines around one of her zord’s legs. She yanks at them, breaking free, but in the process Pumpkin Rapper goes flying and crashes into Terezi and Kanaya.

  
AG: 8lue Arachnid Lightzord Scorpion Mode now!!!!!!!!   


Vriska’s zord undergoes a strange mechanical transformation from spider to scorpion. She waves its claws menacingly.

  
TT: Jade, Callie, go help Terezi and Kanaya.   
TT: I’m going after Vriska.   


You run forward, your zord’s powerful wolf jaws biting through any vines that get in your way, clearing a path for Callie to follow. As the two of you reach Pumpkin Rapper she coils her zord around him and pulls him away from Terezi and Kanaya, letting them get to a safe distance.

Pumpkin Rapper roars and throws off Callie’s zord, which goes flying and knocks over Vriska and Rose’s approaching zords. Kanaya swoops in, laying down fire with her dual laser cannon antennae.

  
GC: WH4T NOW?   
TT: I’ve got a plan.   
GG: ooh, ooh, does it involve another transformation sequence??   
TT: Yes. Light Megazord power up!   
GG: space megazord power up!   


Your zords do a complicated fusion dance, transforming into two very tall mechanical warriors. Two, for lack of a better word, giant women.

Your seat rolls forward into a combined cockpit with Kanaya at the helm and you and Callie to each side. Kanaya guides the Space Megazord towards Pumpkin Rapper from one side, while the Light Megazord approaches from the other. Pumpkin Rapper turns back and forth, his attention divided.

  
TT: Now!   
GG: wolf punch!   
UU: serpent whip!   
GA: Combo   


The Space Megazord swings one of its detachable gauntlets like a flail, striking Pumpkin Rapper and knocking him back towards the waiting Light Megazord.

  
AG: Claw!   
TT: x20!   
AG: Com8o!!!!!!!!   


The Light Megazord pounces on Pumpkin Rapper and knocks him back the other way. As he bounces back and forth, the Red Dragon Mindzord soars majestically into view.

  
GC: T1M3 TO RO4ST TH1S PUMPK1N >:]   


Terezi’s zord roars and breathes fire, and Pumpkin Rapper explodes in a rain of stringy squash innards.

  
GC: 1 LOV3 TH3 SM3LL OF PUMPK1N P13 1N TH3 MORN1NG   
GC: SM3LLS L1K3 V1CTORY   
AG: It’s the afternoon.   
GC: W3LL, 31TH3R W4Y, 1 R34LLY W4NT 4 PUMPK1N SP1C3 L4TT3 NOW   
GA: Perhaps We Should Go Before Anyone Notices The Bits Of Pumpkin Sprayed All Over The University Sports Complex   
TT: Yes, that is definitely a thing we should do.   
GG: rose were not going to stay and help clean up?   
UU: i dont know mUch aboUt american law bUt i imagine there might be a liability concern?   
GC: 4S TH3 GROUPS PR3T3ND L3G4L COUNS3L 1 R3COMM3ND TH4T W3 V4C4T3 TH3 PR3M1S3S 1MM3D14T3LY FOR V1CTORY COFF33 4ND OR P1ZZ4   



	11. Chapter 11

You wind up at a combination cafe and gym called, for some reason, “Equius’s Milk Bar.”

“What’s a milk bar?” Terezi asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Something made by Nestle, in my experience,” says Callie. “Is this really okay for everyone?”

“Hey,” Vriska nudges Kanaya, “is there anything here you can actually eat?”

“Um,” says Kanaya, who is already carefully examining a menu. “Possibly the green tea. I assume they can figure out how to not put milk in that. Unless it’s one of those premade bubble tea mixes. Hmm.”

Off in the distance, a wall-mounted television set starts flashing a series of brightly-colored ads. You wonder if the music has gotten louder since you came in. You fiddle with your spinner ring and try to focus on the conversation around you. Kanaya, having already analyzed the menu in detail, is going over the highlights with Terezi.

Suddenly, Rose’s morpher beeps. You startle and knock over a nearby container of plastic cutlery. A dozen spoons go flying over the table.

“Hey, I know that ringtone,” Terezi says. “From this morning.”

“Correct,” Rose says, and leans over to whisper to her wrist. “I read you, ARADIA. What is it?”

“I’ve finished analyzing and c0mparing the data fr0m b0th 0f t0day’s battles and there’s s0mething y0u sh0uld 0bserve.”

“I’m on my way,” Rose says, and stands up.

Terezi and Vriska stand up almost as quickly. “Let’s do this,” says Vriska.

Rose shakes her head. “I can handle this. Besides, no need to break up this little gathering. You should all get to know each other. You’re a team now, after all.”

“I think you mean _we’re_ a team now,” Terezi says.

“Isn’t that what I said?” Rose says, and starts walking off. “Terezi’s in charge until I get back. I’ll call you if I need anything!” she yells over her shoulder, before darting behind a conveniently located column and disappearing in a shimmer of purple light.

“I’m in charge?” Terezi says, to no one in particular.

“Yes, you are definitely in charge of the rainbow party ranger room. It’s you.” Vriska says. “What’s next, team leader?”

“Milkshakes and/or acceptable dietary substitutes for all!” Terezi yells, waving her fists in triumph.

“I appreciate the thought but I actually think I’m going to go. I’m not feeling too well,” Kanaya says, standing up and looking rather pale.

“I think I’m going to go too,” you say, grateful for the opportunity to leave without making a scene. “It’s a bit. Um. Noise. Words.”

“Overloaded?” Terezi asks.

“Yes,” you say.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the dorm. Callie, care to join us? Your stuff is still in my room.”

“Oh right!” Callie says, carefully maneuvering herself upright. “I had nearly forgotten.”

“Whatever, I’m gonna go check out the gym,” Vriska says. She wanders off, punching a nearby training bag as she passes it. “Let’s get this party started!!!!!!!!”

“Hey, thank you,” you say to Terezi as the three of you walk slowly back to the dorm.

“It was nothing, really. I’m just glad I’m not the only one with a noise complaint for once.”

“You were looking out for your team. That’s the sign of a true leader,” Callie says.

“Some team we’re turning out to be,” Terezi grumbles. “What’s in store next for our heroes?”

“Quiet time?” you volunteer.

“As provisional team leader I approve this plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing about a lot of different experiences here, many of which aren't my own. (For example, I'm sighted.) If I fucked something up, please let me know.


End file.
